Bienvenue a Montreal: Ok, nous l'avons trouvé

Que faire et que voir quand vous êtes à Montréal: Part 4 in a series.

My Uncle's job occasionally has him on the road. Nothing glamorous, just North America, but I think that everyplace has at least one cool thing about it. Even in the middle of butt-fuck-nowhere, there's always fun to be had.

But since he's there on business, he really only gets a day to himself. Or sometimes only a couple of hours. So he'll ask someone who's been to the city before..."Hey!! I only have (this much) time in City X. What do I HAVE to do?"

And I think that is a delightful approach to travel, one that I hope to utilize in the future. SO... what should you do in Montreal? My first instinct is to say strip club.

But I'll go with my second instinct, which is, ironically, church. Now I don't care what faith you were raised in, how religious you are, or what check-box you put your neat-little X in. Cause this ain't just any-old church. Basilique Notre-Dame de Montreal.

(I'm looking at photos online to show you, but there's just nothing that truly captures the grandeur and extravagance and erethral beauty of this structure. I think it's best to go in blind and let the beauty take your breath away.)

Words, cannot even describe it. When I am inside Notre Dame Basillica, I am undoubting and unwavering in my devotion.

Outside on the pavement 10 minutes later, or at the strip club 6 hours later might be a different story. But inside the Basillica, all the beautiful old-world Catholic tradition and masonic architecture meld into otherworldliness.

Ya, you're gonna pay $5 for admission. Take the tour, it's free. And feel free to wander and explore. Light a candle, say a prayer.

And, meh... it was good enough for the nuptials of the Diva herself (Celine Dion). Also, the Basillica hosted the funeral of Pierre Trudeau. But you'll learn all that on the tour. And if you're feeling adventurous, take in a mass. It would be worth it just to hear that massive organ.

We suspected that The Musee D'Art Contemporain might only be good on LSD, but alas, it was an hallucinogen-free weekend. Like any contemporary art gallery the pieces (some were more like, pieces of crap) fell into three categories:
1. Ohhhhh neeeaaaaatt!
2. Cool. Probably cooler on acid.
3. WTF? How does this qualify as art?

For instance, The Bourduas exhibit fell into the first two categories. While his contemporaries (or, bootleggers) often fell into the third category.

In the second category was videomusique. It told the story of a couple. They were... how you say... troubled. Some might say... volatile. And in the background was Chris Isaak's sexy serenade, Wicked Game. Only instead of the insatiable Isaak crooning, some crazed chick was sometimes screeching it sometimes sobbing it. It was fucked.

Also in category numero tres was Runa Islam: A silent film of a pretty young woman at a table. There is a cup and saucer about 3 inches from the edge, and the woman's hand is 2 inches away from the china. Her hand is moving a millimeter a minute. And, soon (but not quickly) the china begins to creep towards the edge of the table. And then, its hanging over the edge. And you're thinking... Noooo!! You can save it!! There's plenty of time. Then.... SMASH!!!

Then all sorts of things are breaking. It was excruciating.

We enjoyed The exhibit of Yesterday's Tomorrows, especially John Massey's Phantoms of the Modern/The Beginnings of the World. His prints were of a very clean very modern house. But it was like a Where's Waldo of strange and slightly provocative objects.

It was cheaper than seeing a movie. But come high or don't bother. It's always nice to take in a gallery or a museum wherever you roam. Lends culture to a journey.

Montreal was home to the Olympics in 1976. So we wanted to grace the hallowed grounds of the site of monumental debt. For a photo-shoot... __________________________________________________________

The park was nothing more than a concrete wasteland. __________________________________________________________

And the stadium looked like where they hold the Space Olympics. __________________________________________________________

And the biodome is where they train. __________________________________________________________

What the hell is this?
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GIANT stairs!
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Reach for the stars!
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Maybe Olympic Park and Stadium are not a must-see.

But upon returning home everyone will ask, did you see the cross? According to "legend" you can see the cross on Mount-Royal from everywhere in the city.

In the 16th Century, Jaques Cartier hiked up this mountain with the natives and christened it Mount-Royal, which is from where the city takes its name. In 1643 the founder of Montreal, Paul Chomedey de Maisonneuve hiked on up with a giant wooden cross.

It was replaced with this in 1929. __________________________________________________________

It was... a little anti-climatic
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A breathtaking view. Oh, and there's the city. __________________________________________________________

Hitch-hiked back. 

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Dodged falling rocks.
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The park itself was very lovely. Its hopeful to see a major metropolis devote such great acreage to foliage and walking paths. Walkers, joggers, runners, hikers, cyclists, skiiers, bladers and the like dominate the trails. The young and old come to exercise, play, picnic and even date in nature. Wear sturdy shoes.

The waterfront at Les Quais Du Vieux-Port de Montreal had some beautiful assets as well.

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Prepare for boarding.

Bievennue a Montreal: Où sommes-nous?

Ce que vous pouvez découvrir si vous êtes perdus à Montréal: Part Three in a Series.

Sometimes getting there is half the fun. I think I said it best in my (private) journal.

"With all the best intentions to leave at the ungodly hour of 8 am, we were finally on the road by quarter to 10. Tim Hortons was still serving breakfast, which is earlier that I'm motivated to get my ass out of the door on the best of days. Not being accustomed to actually making it on time for breakfast, of course we ordered bagels and BLTs. I drove the 6+ (+++) hours, as Irish was nursing one hulluva hangover from last afternoon's excursion to the Jay's game. I'm pretty proud of her for keeping that BLT down. At 11, only at Markham Rd, I tried to burn the car down with a cigarette butt. Back on the highway, we gabbed. Then she napped while I grooved to some oldies. Then we had a pretty hard-core heart-to-heart which turned in..."

I was writing this while illegally parked, waiting for Irish to check-in. Because we couldn't park until we checked in. What bullshit is that? Quality Hotel. Dad asked me if they spelled Quality with a K. But now, to continue on this train of thought...

...which turned into an epic rant-fest. Of course we missed our exit. Got off at another, and started driving to the hotel. Story of my life, we were going the wrong way. So we turned around. And alas, once the road ended, we realized we were going a wronger way.

Uh-oh! We're lost!! Take a picture!!

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EDITOR'S NOTE: Ok SER-I-OUS-LY how in the hell do we keep getting lost while all along we're in the right direction? What is wrong with us? Suicidal brain-cells?!? (in anticipation of the debauchery the weekend would hold in store?)

We def spent a lot of our trip lost and wandering. Boy did we put our grade 7 geography lessons to use. Map reading? An invaluable skill. Although, we lamented not having a compass.

By the end of the 4 days, our map was in tatters. But we never got lost on day 4. That was a successful day (until we tried to get home. And I wasn't 100% sure where we were. Then we missed an exit and had to take a delightful detour.)

Lost, yet again. Familiar territory. We'll be in Toronto in 6+++ hours __________________________________________________________

How many maps does it take to navigate our way out of this city? Three. __________________________________________________________

We spent much of our days on the quest for M:Brgr (which I must say, was worth it). The problem (for once) wasn't our poor sense of direction, rather, just not knowing what the place was called. And, alas, google failed us. On our first unsuccessful attempt, we ended up at a lovely little place called Dundees, where we shared quesadillas and poutine, and I got tipsy off of three $12 raspberry mohitos.

Unapologetic.
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We also spent a good part of our trip in search of a club. Some place happenin'. Everyone always says that Montreal is a party city. So where the party-at? Ah, sketchy nights, wandering the streets, slightly intoxicated. That's how I shall always remember the fair city.

Just lookin' for a good time.
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Got lost in search of La Croix at Mount-Royal. Got lost trying to make our way back to civilization. We even *gasp* stopped and asked for directions. Damn, that park was large. Even almost got off at the wrong bus stop on our way to the park.

Irish and I enjoy the thrill of finding your own way, and exploring parts of the city you would never stumble upon otherwise. Let's face it, that's pretty much what I do in Toronto anyway.

Map reading: an invaluable skill!
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The problem was that Montreal is so small! What seems like miles and miles on the map may only take you a few minutes. We were constantly over-shooting everything. 

Including our sojourn to suburbia. Well, you can't really blame two Scarborough girls for being lured into the gentle caress of the suburbs. We took the metro a little too far north. We were off the map. We were so unbearably, confusingly lost. 

So we took a breather on a bench, tried to gather our bearings, and were delighted to see such randomness, all from the vantage point of our bench.

This light-hearted graphic on a sari-shop sign turned our frowns upside-down. __________________________________________________________

Mannequins with serious 'dos.
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Gold. Jewelery. Computers. Video Games. Tools. Bicycles.
Musical Instruments. TV. DVD. Cameras. Film XXX. Etc...?
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*Shrugs shoulders* It was an interesting door. Lots of texture. I'm not just silly all the time.
I'm at least a 2-dimensional character.
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Passive-aggressive? Or ironic? You be the judge. __________________________________________________________

The lost-pose.
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Happy travels and happy wanders!

You know the drill, stay tuned tomorrow for part 4 of our series: Ok, nous l'avons trouvé: que faire et que voir quand vous êtes à Montréal