Madame Veronique peers into her crystal ball..

I like to collect horoscopes. Not trashy magazine horoscopes. Or god-forbid online ones. I love the act of clipping them from the newspaper. You carefully, precisely extract the little gem. I post it on my fridge, and look at it every day. Then less often, until I forget about it. Until one day it catches my eye. I read it. And if I no longer need it, I throw it away.

Sometimes you need horoscopes.

Like this one.

"You have been unable to understand that a solution really does exist. Though its implementation requires courage, willpower and perhaps even a temporary sacrifice, you will eventually see how it makes sense."

Or this one.

"There's a big disappointment you've never gotten over. Find reasons to be grateful for this experience, you'll be liberated."

 They're slightly yellowed. I don't need them anymore. 

Conversations with Boss, II

Boss: what is with your obsession with the word shenanigans!! Me: (if only you knew...)

Everybody wants something...

Blaaaah. Haven't felt like blogging recently. Ya, there've been YES!!ventures a plenty. Days have been chock-a-block full'o shenanigans and randomness.

But there's something missing. I'm wanting something. But I don't know what it is.

I've been having strange dreams. They preoccupy my thoughts.

Maybe music will help. There. Mesmerizing.

Truth be told, I've been watching a lot of Degrassi... the NEXT generation.

It all started with Dawson's Creek. The OC soon followed. Then, came along new 90210, and I vowed to only follow ONE embarrassing teenage melodrama at a time. But I made an exception for Glee. And now, new Degrassi apparently.

And I like, nay, love Lady Gaga. Who am I?

There are so many things about me I hide from others. But I wanna be ME in all my dorky-glory. When did I become the girl who looked like she couldn't put up a tent?

I'm weary of this role. Maybe time for a personality make-over.

Suggestions? Pirate? Meth-head? Pants-wetter? Person who uses 17th Century slang? Nudist? Blaaaaah.

Something's missing. And this post sounds wicked-emo. OOOOhhhhh. emo.

Who are we kidding? I'm a ball of energy. I couldn't restrain myself enough to be emo. Although I do look good in black.

Also, side bar: realized I don't have to do HTML to format, that regular, good'ol shortcuts will do the formatting for me. (uh.. that's prob. only interesting to me, right? On that note: going to watch me some Degrassi, cause I got tomorrow off!!

Uh. Just did a last-minute spell check. Words I cannot spell: mesmerizing, apparently, melodrama, wetter, embarrassing. Wow. Two R's and two S's in embarrassing? Well, that's embarrassing.

Oh. Note readers: I can't spell. I have a diverse vocabulary, and I can't use it to its full effectiveness. And I frequently forget to spell-check. I learned "inventive-spelling" when I was 4, and never looked back.

Cottagesky

Well. Cottagesky was awsomeness. Just what the doctor ordered. Except the copious amounts of alcohol consumed, excessive amounts of smoke inhaled and ridiculous amounts of ultraviolet rays. The trip went smoothly, so now I feel I can take my lil '91 Escort out on the road more often. The cassette player was shite tho. My car now smells like an ashtray. Went to visit a friend up in Huntsville. He told us his brother and friends would be there. We assumed it would be his little bro (translation: 20-year-old frat/sorority types...rich little white kids) INSTEAD, we were delighted to find his older brother there. Bunch of cool people in their 30's, who knew how to party. Also. They cooked for us. They made BIIIIIGGGG messes at night. Each morning we would wake to find the property COVERED in beer bottles and cans, glasses, cigarette butts, empty cigarette packs, munchies garbage, etc etc. But we'd get it all clean before breakfast... and then the cycle would begin again. It's weird now I'm in my mid 20's. I'm starting to contemplate being 30. I don't have many a good role-model. Silver is 33. And I feel older than him most days. I am unofficially, the oldest of the group. He's too wild and directionless. Mr. Collins is 33 as well. Maybe he used to be a fun dude. But I don't see that. He's dull. He's lost that lust for life. Some other people I know are cool and everything. But they're living mediocre lives. But the people at the cottage this weekend? They are EXACTLY who I want to be when I'm in my 30's. Nice car, good career jobs, starting to settle down with a mate, but still know how to party. Music time? What the hell. Try this on for size... ooooh. just realized this link doesn't work. I wonder what I wanted to play... ah.. this'll more than make up for my error.

you oughta know..

Going away to the cottagesky today! ROAD TRIP!! Gotta swing by casa-de-parents to pick up some... CASSETTE TAPES!! For all my young fans, a cassette is like a VHS, but for music. Before MP3's and IPods? No, before CDs. Beta max? Fuck I'm old. My car has a shitty radio, and only a cassette deck. 1991 Ford Escort muthafucka!! What-what!! I was defiantly part of the CD and VHS generation. I got my first CD player for my 10th birthday. And my first CD, embarrassingly, was THIS!!! (be kind!) But I did have a few cassettes, which I am desperate to find... 1. TLC - CrazySexyCool 2. Whitney Houston - The Bodyguard Soundtrack 3. Mariah Carey - Daydream 4. Alanis Morissette - Jagged Little Pill And I think... something from Weird Al? And now you know a little sumthin about me in the 90's :) P.S. aparantly, I have tagged a post with 'cassette tapes' in the past. Random!

Like an animal..

I am feeling generous again and personal. I was digging through my memory box to find the list of requirements I drafted for a gentleman (five-ish years ago.) My search was in vain, however. Perhaps I discarded it in a cleaning frenzy.

But I did find a little treat! Here, for the first time, is... The Ronada Codex!! yaaa! cheeer! yaaaa!

Back story: this was the apartment rules my friend and I drafted before living together. She was my first (and so far, only) roommate. I'm Ron, she's Ada. Hence: Ronada. And we were never nearly as slutty as the codex implies.

In fact, we both ended up in long-term relationships shortly after the codex was drafted (one drunken night). She's still with him to this day. But as you know, I'm single and ready to mingle ;)

Think this would be appropriate.

And without further adieu, I present, The Ronada Codex.

1. No sex in shared living spaces. Shower is fair game, but please clean up after.
2. Keep volume down during sex. Occasional moan is permitted. If bed squeaks/bangs, please readjust.
3. Use key-hook method to alert roommate that you brought a penis over.
4. Call/text to alert roommate you're bringing in an outsider.
5. Perform tailcounts regularly.
6. Max 1 "kick roommate out of apartment" card per month. 1 week notice preferred. Preferably no overnights.
7. No bringing strange men home for penis function.
8. You drop the pie, you eat the pie. Alert roommate.
9. Don't give out home phone #.
10. Use common sense & have courtesy and respect for roommate. Any operational issues will be resolved via the use of Blockbuster-approved tools.

Wow. I'll have you know that I lived by these guidelines religiously.

1. no comment!!
2. ditto!!
3. I enjoy that we refer to mens as "a penis", like they have no other function.
4. This rule was a special request from me. I was in the early stages of a pantsless apartment. My apartment has a no-pants rule. And the scary thing is, lots of people abide by my rule. Skirts, shorts, stretchy-pants, PJ's, sweats are OK. No dress pants or jeans are to be worn in the apartment. So this rule was created so I would never be caught with my pants down (literally) when she's bringing a friend over!
5. We had a lot of cats. You had to count them before you went out, to ensure you hadn't locked one in the bathroom or on the balcony, or hell, in the hallway.
6. Ya. We took advantage of this one a few times!
7. We weren't ho's!
8. One time, we dropped a pie on the floor. And then proceeded to eat it off the floor. Much to the disgust of many. Which sparked the great, floor-pie debate. Would you eat your favourite pie, that you splurged on, that you really couldn't afford, that only a teeny-tiny sliver had been consumed, and the whole damn thing fell on your freshly-washed floor, and you could clearly identify the unscathed portions? Fuck, you KNOW you would do it!
9. We never even got a home phone!
10. Ah, the only really useful rule. We both worked at Blockbuster at the time, and had learned many stupid decision-making models, and conflict-resolution formulas.

This makes me think though. What would my roommate codex look like today?

V-Ron rules!! The first rule is: there are no rules! But here are some anyways...

1. Spend as little time as possible within the apartment.
2. No-pants permitted within the apartment.
3. No smoking.
4. No loud noises after 11.
5. Singing in the shower: a necessity.
6. Visitors must wait a minimum of 5 minutes in the hallway while I frantically pick up anything embarrassing off the floor.
7. Visitors must be warned, and accepting, about the mess.
8. Clean once per month. Then make a huge mess. Then repeat.
9. Food is only a suggestion. Empty fridges are nothing to be embarrassed about.
10. All chilling must be performed on the bed, due to lack of space and lack of couch.

Wow. Just realised, I have a pretty sad life.

How to shoot somebody who outdrew you...

Well tonight I'm feeling generous. And I know I keep saying "that was the BEST YES!!venture ever!!" But this time, I mean it. And it's also true that the YES!!ventures keep getting better and better, as my faith in the power of YES!! becomes more resolute. I was going to play you this, because it sort of suits my mood. But this just started playing. And I don't really 'dig' this song unless I'm a little depressed. But it's so beautiful right now. Maybe cause I'm happy happy happy. Tonight... 1. I learned Peep-toe, sling-back, wedge-heels are not appropriate footwear for a play ground. 1a. I have sand EVERYWHERE! 2. My double-booking problem was resolved 3. I may have a cottage to go to for LONG WEEKEND 4. And happy happy happy on top of that as well. (hence tonight's generosity.) 5. I stamped my summer bingo card.

Vocabulary building

Gee Veronica, you are SO cool. What words and phrases can I incorporate into my day-to-day lingo, to make me even a fraction as cool as you. Glad you asked. But first, crank the tunage. That's better. shenanigans. Noun: adventures that border on tomfoolery or hijinx. Usually fuelled by weed, alcohol, sugar or sleep deprivation. Rarely a reference to sexy times. Side effect of YES!!ventures. "Irish and I went down to the bluffs, and as per usual, shenanigans ensued." "Whatcha get up to last night?" "Oh, went to a pub, got into shenanigans. The usual." "We got high as fuck last night, and got into some serious bedroom shenanigans. Verb: "You have to come out tonight! I simply cannot shenanigan with out you!" Also makes a good ending to a letter, see: 'yours in shenanigans, Veronica' Now go run amok and get into some shenanigans of your own.

Love and ethics.

OK. Let's just set the mood... I want to be ethical. But sometimes saying YES!! conflicts with my personal morals and ethics. I hate decision-making. I usually just leave those pesky details up to the fates.

What other conclusion could you draw?

Friday April 30th
6:30 am - wake up
8:30 am - last class
Noonish - picnic at Todmorton Mills in the Don Valley. Drunken debauchery ensued. Cops eventually broke up the party.
6pm-9:30 - work!
11 pm - downtown, at bar. Worst band ever.
2 am - hotel.
4 am - bed
10 am - wake up
Saturday May 1st
1-6:30 pm - work
9 pm - crashed a birthday kegger for friend's highschool-aged brother
Midnight - crashed a birthday celebration for friend's personal trainer at a club in a strip-plaza in Ajax.
Sunday May 2nd
1 pm - went to friend's little sister's Irish Dancing recital in etobicoke
7 pm - visited with a special friend
9 pm - Decided, to say YES!! to everything.

Shout out!!

So apparently this blog has a reader. And no, it's not my Mommy (who are we kidding, she'll never figure out this newfangled internet thingamajiggy)

I was self-conscious for a split-second. Because usually I just post whatever the hell is on my mind in the moment. But it's also made me realise, that I WANT readers. So efforts will be doubled!

I think I need to explain the YES!! project. But first, a treat for your ears. Let's listen.

It's a social experiment. A summer project of sorts. It's deliciously simple. But deceptively difficult in execution.

Say YES!! to everything.

Now, there are no rules per-se. I am developing parameters as I go along.
1. I cannot do more than three things in a day. (This parameter sprung as a result of over-booking myself.)
2. Saying YES!! cannot interfere with work. I will not call in sick, and if I have to work in the morning, then I cannot get too crazy at night.
3. Say YES!! to everything, within reason. I'm not going to start injecting heroin in my veins and hooking on the street. (I can't go back to that scene.)

In all seriousness, I still maintain my free-will, and I am certainly a strong-willed person.

I like to think that the people I associate with won't propose nefarious exploits. There are no rules, but money, drugs and sex are things I will think twice about before screaming YES!! Are there drawbacks? Sure!

1. I'm BROKE. Saying YES!! to everything has me going out a lot. Going out costs money. I've resorted to eating at my parents house, in an effort to conserve money.

2. I'm TIRED. Throughout the school year I averaged 6 hours sleep each night. I was working 30 hours, spending 20 hours in class, and another 20+ working on stories and assignments. That's a 70+ hour work week. Now I am working a delightful 40 hours each week. Theoretically, that gives me 30+ free hours... which I have filled with shenanigans. So my apartment is still a fright, I'm still lacking in sleep and I'm still constantly on the go.

3. How do you say NO? I don't have money to give you. I don't want to fuck you. The dark side of YES!! to everything is the hobos. They're draining me. I put all my pennies nickels and dimes in my pocket before going out, and tell them it's all I can spare. The mens and the drugs are trickier. 'YES!!, BUTS' seem to do the trick. YES!! I want some coke, BUT I have an addictive personality and probably shouldn't try it. YESS!! I want another drink, BUT I'm pretty sloshed so it has to be my last. YES!! I want to fuck you BUT not tonight. Etc. Although, I think that this is a positive to the project. YES!!, BUT sounds a helluva lot better than my usual scathing "umm.. No."

4. Since people know about the project, I worry that they'll doubt my sincerity. But no one's holding a gun to my head. I think the project only works if you are genuinely excited about the possibility of adventure that could ensue. I think my friends understand. But how does dating work? Still trying to figure that one out...

There are plenty of positives.

1. Say YES!! to altruism. I find myself doing more favours and random acts of kindness. I found a shoe in the parking lot at work today. I picked it up and brought it into the Children's store next-door. I usually would've left it there. I didn't say YES!! to anything. Even when I said YES!! to my neighbour when she needed a lift, I forgot about the project until we were already on our way (and then I drew a huge sigh of relief, that I had said YES!!)

2. Say YES!! to adventure. I never know where my day is going to take me. You have to open yourself to the adventure that life can bring.

3. Say YES!! to conversations with randoms. Everyone has a story to tell. People love to talk about themselves. Why NOT talk to strangers? We spend our days conversing with the same characters, sometimes just introducing a cameo character spices things up. Also, ever see someone doing something or wearing something or singing something or they look like someone you know, and you're just DYING to ask them whatever it is that piques your interest? Well, just DO IT. Worst case? They think you are weird. But guess what, you'll probably never see them again. Best case? Delightful conversations with random strangers. Heck, you may learn something about life, and you may learn something about yourself. (or, you may get a fab date out of it...)

4. Say YES!! to no regrets. Something on your mind? Shout it out! Afraid of something? Conquer that fear! I feel bolder. Brazen. Untouchable. I feel like I am doing everything right, and that no matter what I do or say, I am on the right path. Destiny? Fate? Mumbojumbo? I dunno. But I feel like I am on a journey. I don't know what I'll find at the end of the summer. But I feel like it's already been written. I just have to uncover the clues, and be open to the possibility.

Jeez. I feel like I should write a self-help book. Or be preaching on a soap-box on a street-corner.

Basically, we are all asked to do stupid and lame sounding things on a daily basis. Usually we regretfully decline. But I challenge myself to say YES!! and see what happens.

One adventure has lead to another, and I have been delighted with little pockets of randomness and vignettes of irony. Maybe I'm easily amused. Maybe I'm looking for shenanigans. Or maybe I'm onto something here.

I just need a quick nap, then I'm good to go.

I'm only 2 weeks into summer vacay and I'm already exhausted. Saying YES!! is really taking up a lot of my time. I received a text yesterday from my friend, and my stomach dropped. I literally couldn't do anything. I'm broke and exhausted. But all he wanted was to cancel tonight's plans, which was KICK ASS cause I was already double-booked and wondering how I was gonna swing plans with the mens and a date when neither party had anything concrete locked down. Wow, how I miss the days of lamenting my lack-of-social life and resulting boredom. I was relieved to have nothing on the horizon last night, and even more grateful for my first cancellation (although, hope that doesn't bring him bad karma...) But adventure still ensued last night. Because you know I'm always game to say YES!!...

I don't normally do this, but...

So I was out at a (shitty) club and a dude asked me for my numbah. He was cute enough. I was certainly drunk enough. He told me that he would wait 3 days to call, because he watches How I Met Your Mother. And I am OBSESSED with How I Met Your Mother. Which will henceforth be known as HIMYM. So anywho, he really scored ma numbah on the mention of HIMYM and the whole say YES!! to everything experiment. Tuesday rolled around, and sure enough, buddy texts me. I waited til yesterday to text back, in typical female fashion. But the THING is... he asked me out, but like on a group outing with his friends? That's weird, right? Oh well, definite leap on the say YES!! scale. Oh, so here is the say YES!! theory as it stands. 1. When I say YES!! the universe rewards me with adventure and/or delightful randomness 2. When someone says NO!! to me, they are punished in karmic proportions Have decided that 25 is the age I was meant to be. I even wrote a song: (to the tune of Summer of '69 by Canadian heartthrob Bryan Adams) "It was the Summer of two-thousand-and-ten I wish that I could live it again That summer I was twent-five And man I was feelin' alive" (yes, I am singing a reflective song in the moment. Can't get anymore ironic than that)

Only love can break your heart..

I hate myself when my heart is hurting. When did this happen?

Say YES!! to strangers...

Well, so apparantly I'm going to a stranger's art-show this weekend. Also recieved a text today, with an invite to a movie tonight. I replied, YES!!!!! Oh, and who is this? Dangerous territory, saying yes to strangers. It was just Reinisa, from my program... so *whew!*

TALKING. WITH. AN.I.MALS

On my to-do list today at work? Go over to the old store, and while I'm there, talk to Boss' goose. Conversation was very one-sided and awkward. "Hey goose. Hiiiiii goooooseeeeeyyy! So, ya, I was just over at the old store, and Boss asked me to come say hi. So, ya, hi. Boss is up-north for the next two days. So, I guess I'll let you go. Oh, and, ya, I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Alright, goose, take it easy." (Goose finally looks at me, and walks away) Later... Boss calls, I ask her how Up North is. She tells me she's home in Scarborough and didn't go Up North. "Shit, Boss. I just lied to the goose." So she asks me to feed him tomorrow. And naturally, I had to say YES! I'm terrified of birds.

Abortion: shut the fuck up.

Abortion. It's a tough issue. And just saying the word aloud in your solo newscast can be nervewrecking. But I think it's an issue that should be more openly discussed in society. We shouldn't just, shut the fuck up, about abortion. See the Toronto Star article. I've read a lot of novels set in a distopian future. And reading 1984 or Handmaid's Tale is scary, because you can see how our society of today could evolve into a V for Vendetta or Brave New World fantasy. Don't get me wrong: I greatly look forward to the soma. But the world won't all of a sudden go to hell in a handbasket. It will be small, gradual changes. Small freedoms and luxuries taken away. Passified by drugs. And abortion. It's such an important, symbollic freedom: the woman's right to choose. Harper won't allow foreign aid money to fund abortion in developing nations. But abortions have occurred for centuries - whether legal or not. Legalizing abortion made it safe for women. Without funding, abortions will still continue, let's not kid ourselves here. This may seem like a tiny, minute issue, that doesn't touch us here at home. But it always begins with the tiny things...

Say YES!!

I'm not normally a do-er or a joiner. I'm lazy. I'm a home-body. But then I get bored at home, and wish that I accepted that invitation to go out. So Friday was epicness. And I worked all afternoon Saturday. But Irish had been bugging me alllll week to make my entire weekend epic, and go out with her Saturday night. I refused. She relented. I got home from work. I felt restless. And sad that the semester was all-of-a-sudden complete. I also felt on the verge of tears. Maybe it was exhaustion. Maybe it was relief. I love journalism, I adore school, I'm sexually attracted to all the people that litter my day. And now, my only reason to put on pants is work? Soul-crushing karma-killing work? Something had to be done. That's when I decided: I shall say YES! to everything this summer. And where did that take me? Well, a delightful day with the Donnelly-clan. I met her entire family: mom, dad, brother and 3 sisters. Predrank at her little brother's birthday kegger, complete with highschoolers. Went to a club in a strip plaza in Ajax for her sister's personal trainer's birthday. Chatted up the cabbie. Ate chicken wings and cake with the stragglers post-kegger. Slept in Aileen's chamber of horrors. Woke up to a breakfast feast fit for Wedding Crashers. Went to her little sister's Irish dancing recital in Etobicoke. Such delightful randomness. To which old-veronica would never have agreed to. But summer-veronica, that chick is different!

Allright, down to business

Today is the first Monday without school. God do I miss it. But also I feel invigorated by the possibility of summer. Goals? Gott 'em. 1. Grow my hair. (how deliciously passive of a goal) 2. Schedule adventure and make time for shenanigans. 2b. Say YES! to everything. 3. clean and organize house (eeeeeEEE!Eeeee!!!EeeEEAAAGHJHHHHDFjfhjzg!!!!BAAAH!) It'll be frightening. I guess diet and exercise and saving money belongs under the sub category of monotony. 4. Be sober as little as possible. (see note 2. and 2b.) 5. Get this blog dun rite. 5a. post my stories. 5b. email thank yous to people I've done stories on... all the way back to September. Uh-oh. Maybe to sent them Christmas card as well. To make up for it. 6. Find sources for my beat magazine about Sex. 7. Send mail to Dan Heyman. (Immagonna stalk the CRAP out of him) 8. clean hard drive. Scary thought as well. 9. Take a photograph everyday 10. read/watch/listen to the news every day 11. Aileen's bday prezzy 11a. parents 30th wedding anni 11b. crazy stupid presents for parents for xmas 12. get my portfolio together 13. take bellydance classes 14. work on either my french or piano or my tan 15. read a book a week 16. twitter and FB 17. work on my book(s) 18. research for note 6. 19. create a rolodex of sorts 20. get a tattoo