Dedicated to nobody

Dedicated to nobody

Dedicated to nobody

Silly bullshit post to tide you over until school is finished.

Soooo... the words I use most frequently on this blog... illuminating.

Name that tune... and also... a clue!

Breathe deep

The gathering gloom

Watch lights fade

From every room

Bedsitter people

Look back and lament

Another day's useless

Energy spent

Impassioned lovers

Wrestle as one

Lonely man cries for love

And has none

New mother picks up

And suckles her son

Senior citizens

Wish they were young

Cold hearted orb

That rules the night

Removes the colours

From our sight

Red is gray and

Yellow white

But we decide

Which is right

And

Which is an Illusion

Mmmm... gravy.

All I ever think about is sex.

And elections.

I think I blog about sex far too often. So I'll give the people what they want.

Here's what I've been working on the past few days...

Pitfield doubts she’ll run again after Ward 29 loss | The Toronto Observer

And more shameless self-promotion...

Veronica Blake reports on Jane Pitfield’s loss in Ward 29 | Centennial onDemand

And fuck, I'm too wiped to continue. Here's the cole's notes version.

1. Gravy is SO delicious.
2. Ford is mayor. Get over it.
3. Did you vote?
4. Totally cried on election night.
5. The Observer website is totally popular.
6. Why does readership make me feel uncomfortable?
7. Why aren't there 36 hours in the day?
8. Abstinence
9. Condoms
10. Stalking

I miss you too!

Do ya miss me?

Well you can find me here... or here...

Lessons learned? Never let your drunk friend act as your spokeswoman with the dude you're dating.

Also, I really don't have time for dating.

But I DO have time for a girl-crush on her.

(I'm also interviewing her for an abstinence article. Ironic? Or conflict of interest)

Damn, I wish I had a cohesive theme to this blog.

(Or, could write a cohesive post, for that matter.)

Life, is a shit show.



Nobody wants to marry the funny-girl.

Got lost in a space/time continuum

I last posted on September 30th, buuuuut I only finally paid my rent today, so I guess it's still October 1st in my mind.

Jeeze I'm hyperventalating...

Where is the time going?

School... is almost halfway done!
I feel like I'm falling behind.
Or just barely meeting deadline, actually.

Here's what I've been doing instead of blogging:

1. Being sick with the nastiest cold I've ever had. And I am sick and tired of oil of oregano, strange hot beverage concoctions and not being able to sleep through the night
2. I did spend my entire Thanksgiving Monday (one of the few-and-far-between days of my life where I had no school and no work) sleeping for 18 hours. No shit. Also took an aimless thinking drive around the city wasting gas and blaring trance and hiphop. Then I worked on learning the dance to Beyonce's Single Ladies music video.
3. Writing stories and getting minimal school work done
4. A lot of fucking family dinners. Jeeze, delightful times had by all, but they really tend to take up a lot of time.
5. Fantasia Party
6. Working
7. Laundry

Didja miss me?

Boy.

Do I know how to pick 'em or what?

Should I be posting about him? Well... make your mind up for yourself...

In a *brand*spankin'*new* segment I call...

THIS IS WHY I DON'T DATE

THURSDAY...
10:30 p.m.
HIM: Hey...what r u doing?

11:30 p.m.
HIM: how boring.....I guess the old veronica was more fun....disappointing :-(

FRIDAY...
2:30 a.m.
ME: Oh sorry working on proposal for story about sex ed and stressing out. Ya I guess no fun at all

6:00 p.m.
HIM: hey do you want to come to downtown tonight? it should be fun! free drinks and sex ed lol ... but confirm me asap ;-)

ME: No going to cirque de solier

HIM: you ll be close to where i am then. what r u doing after that?

ME: Don't know. Prob sleep working 9 am tomor. Or laundry dishes homework

HIM: text me when ur done ... so we can meet if im in the area... don't be boring ;-) enjoy the show

ME: Sorry went out w my girls. At the most happenest night spot in scarborough. What whaaaat? Have fun talk to ya later

SATURDAY...
5:30 p.m.
HIM: hey. do u wanna go out tonight? (with me obviously lol). at what time can u come? ;-)

ME:  Noooo going to a baby shower

HIM: He he i guess someday u will run out of excuses lol..

MONDAY...
10:30 a.m.
ME: Excuses? Listen buddy you got some nerve to text me at 6 expecting me to be free. i'm sure you're a nice guy and everything, but you really fucking rub me the wrong way. If you can't understand that i have a life and i'm certainly not waiting at home for YOU to call. I'm just not that into you. I'm not the boring one

Shenanigans 514

Fed up with the city, we decided to take our shenanigans on the road...



Of course I was listening to music while selecting pictures for this slide show. And there was just something about Rocket Man that seemed to capture my contemplative remembrance of Montreal. So here ya go.

Not 100% satisfied with VuVox, and I told them as much. But it's a hell of a lot easier than trying to do this shit on my own. But I've maxed out my monthly supply of MB on Flickr, so you'll have to be patient for my summer photos. It may take the next 6 months to simply upload them. (and another 6 months to get my shit together and post 'em!)

Promises: Now with more sincerity..

This is the beginning of a whole new me. I have decided that to follow up the Summer of YES!! I shall deem this next stage of my life...

The Semester of Organization & Productivity AND... RESEARCH!

Yaaaahhhhh!

So first things first, we'll set some goals.

1. IOU some posts. And I'm going to finish them. One by one.
a. 2 in the Montreal series
b. review on Rain
c. review on Bananashpeel
d. Montreal photos
e. summer of photos
f. summer in review
g. goal achievement
h. butt-load of stories
i. an about-me section

Jeeze. Gimme a break here!

FAQ: Why YOU need to get tested!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Bah dah dun da-da-da- Daaaaahhhhh!!!

So... ladies and gentlemen... this is... my 100th post!!




Break out the champagne, because against all odds, I've actually followed through on something.

Why the Playboy cover, you ask? I know you've come to expect nothing but wholesomeness from this blog.

But I was google-image-searching "100" and everything was just... so dry... and boring. I needed... something... sexier!

So naturally I searched "100 sexy" and here's what popped up.

Attended a web workshop today. I learned the basics of Blogger and how to set up a blog.

Errr.....

Did learn how I can embed audio files and make a wicked-cool slide show, so (perhaps) you can look forward to that in the future. But don't get your hopes up. I like breaking promises.

Also learned that if it's on YouTube, I can embed it! Hurrah for disregarding copyright laws! Although, apparently I only post "random and obscure music".

Now, here's a good song. No offence to Kool and the Gang.

Continuing with my Jebus theme... (for you, CG, <3  )

Dedicated to Brown...

I just find this funny. Irish and I must've watched it 70 times in the newsroom, much to Brown's chagrin! I don't think she found it quite as delightful as us on the 9th time around. Or the 37th.

But I see through that all-business facade. Don't let her fool ya.

And always remember, if nothing else, that Jesus loves you. OoOoOoOoo!!

I don't recall the one where Carrie went to the free-clinic...

It's a rite of passage and a necessary reality for any sexually active woman in the city.

That's righty-o, faithful readers. Tomorrow, I'm treckin' to the free-clinic for my "yearly" HIV and STI testing.

All in the name of "research".

My rational self assures me that I have nothing to worry about.

But the worry-wort in me? Well that's a different story.

17 reasons why I posted yesterday's video...

1. Hello! My name is Veronica.
2. This cracked me up even though I was stone-cold sober.
3. Betty is practically hidden behind the band. And she gets limited air-time.
4. I like to sing a long to this song in the car. I even get a little shoulder-shake goin' on.
5. What can I say, I love kissing!
6. It's really all the action I've been getting.
7. I still, to this day, purchase the occasional Archie comic from the grocery store.
8. I learned how to read because of Archie comics. Seriously. When I was 3 years old my Aunt J went to Disney World, and brought me back a comic, Veronica in Canada. And I thought it was about.. my life.. like.. in the.. future. But because I couldn't read, all I could do was look at the pictures, and marvel at what my future would hold in store for me.
9. The inappropriate sexual-innuendo between Hot Dog and Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
10. The shitty animation.
11. The fact that the video actually detracts from the awesome tune.
12. The Archies was a fictional band of studio session musicians.
13. Betty and Veronica robotically dancing to a back drop of poorly-drawn bon-bons.
14. The way Hot Dog, Archie and Reggie sidle on up to Sabrina.
15. This would  be even better if stoned (and I assume that's why you're here).
16. Archie's strange voice and stranger eyebrows.
17. The inclusion of the Trix Rabbit.

See? I can deliver.

This post is, unfortunately, rated PG-13...

So it's been a busy week. Productive, and yet oh-so procrastination-filled.

Irish and I have been threatening for years to go to the gym, and we actually dragged our sorry butts into Frog's not once, but twice this week. We literally had all we needed in our trunks for an impromptu gym session. Interestingly, we also have everything we need in our respective trunks for any formal occasion, including wedding crashing. We have a lot of junk in our trunks. Hence, gym is a necessity.

I learned this week, that what happens when the journalists leave the newsroom, should stay out of the newsroom. Everything was going grand at karaoke, in honour of Silver's birthday. I was dressed like a $2 hooker, screwdrived on the subway, and made a grand entrance, fashionably late (in my typical Veronica fashion) to the tune of "kisses for everyone"!

(I'm not drunk until I have a catch-phrase. 'Kisses for everyone' is considerably less dangerous than 'yes to everything!')

It was $3.50 drink night. Dangerous.  

Fastforward through the first 3 minutes...

So this is what I did on the night before school.

Seeking a club? Tough luck

By: VERONICA BLAKE
Published in The Courier. February 25, 2010

The renovation of the student centre has encountered numerous delays and the lack of organized clubs on campus leaves students with nowhere to go and nothing to do.

There’s little reason for students to spend any additional time outside of their classes at the Centre for Creative Communications. The campus does not have a single, official club. The Centennial College Student Association Incorporated (CCSAI) is needed to make a club official. Vice-President at the CCC campus, Carl Anthony John would like to see students getting more involved with college life.

“Here at the creative campus for centennial college we really have the core base in place,” John said. “Clubs create a liveliness on campus.”

Any student can create a club. Packages are available at any CCSAI office or online. But this requires students to be proactive. If students want clubs, then they will have to create their own.

“It takes our students a little bit of initiative,” John said. “The opportunities are available. The funds are available. The people and resources are available to make any club here on campus possible.”

John envisions that clubs on campus should supplement students program learning. Its also a great way for students to give back to their campus community, and the community at large.

Students have a lot going on already, with their regular course load and projects, part time jobs and relationships. It may be asking too much of students to tell them to create their own clubs. Book and magazine publishing student Katie McHale is not a joiner.

“We just come and the we leave,” McHale said. “There’s so much going on with our actual classes… I can’t think about taking anything else on right now.”

There’s also a problem with communication. Without a student centre, students are cut off from the CCSAI and many are ignorant that opportunities actually exist.

“I don’t know where to find out what things are going on,” McHale said.

John would like to see students spend more time on campus.

“Students are in and out of the building really quickly, showing up for classes and then they’re basically out of here,” John said.

*Editor's note* I guess this was a follow-up to my pressing student-centre expose. I was starting to worry that College Politics would become my beat. And then I never wrote anything for The Courier ever again. Oh, except for my G20 story, that I really should bed working on now. 

Need debt relief? Then vote liberal.

By: VERONICA BLAKE
Published in The Courier. February 25, 2010

Federal Liberal leader Michael Ignatieff considered the idea of wiping out student debt in exchange for one year of volunteer work.

Ignatieff recently rapped up a cross-country tour of University campuses. His student-debt idea is not part of his platform, but it was discussed in an online question and answer session. For the most part, Centennial College students have some form of debt, whether it be from OSAP, bank loans, credit card-debt or begging and borrowing from parents.

Jennifer Romano, 25, is in her first year of the fast-track journalism program on the CCC campus. Before Centennial, she completed a four-year degree at Ryerson University. She expects to graduate with $30,000 of debt.

“I still have such a high debt...cause I still...believe somehow the government is going to pay for part of it,” Romano said. “There’s no way I can pay it off.”

Liberal Omar Ha-Redeye supports Ignatieff’s idea. He thinks that the idea makes sense financially.

“Banks have found that many of these loans default,” Ha-Redeye said. “Canadian students are already finding themselves in a difficult situation, burdened by crippling debt and frustrated that they cannot apply their education in the ways they would want.”

Beginning in the 1999 school year, Ontario high school students were required to complete a mandatory 40 hours of community service in order to receive their diploma. Ignatieff’s volunteerism for debt-relief idea would take this a significant step further.

First-year student Cecilia Olmos, 29 attended the Universidad Anáhuac in Mexico before coming to Centennial. As part of the curriculum, the students would perform social services. She travelled around Mexico providing food and clothing to the poor. Olmos valued this experience.

“It really touched my heart,” Olmos said. “I reinforced my values as a person, that we should help anybody that needs help.”

In addition to the financial benefits for students, volunteer work can be a rewarding and satisfying experience. Omar Ha-Redeye likes an alternative approach to debt-relief that marries financial help with giving back to society.

“Canadian volunteerism has been steadily on the decline and when the youth do volunteer, it’s not necessarily for altruistic reasons,” Ha-Redeye said. “This generation is under enormous pressure to succeed financially and the social burdens placed on the youth are far greater than before.”

The potential college strike further complicates matters. Ashtonbee student, Sashell Mills, 21 dreads the possibility of a strike. She won’t be able to pick up any extra hours at her part-time job, and worries that if the semester is extended into the summer like the York University strike, she’ll miss out on summer job opportunities.

“I’ll mooch off my dad, that’s all I can do,” Mills said. “I’m scared... of paying (OSAP) back.”

*Editor's note* Ahh, this is the infamous article that I procrastinated oh-so-much on. To the point where I actually begun this fateful blog to aid in my procrastination. I got this idea from an article I saw in The Star about Ignatieff's crazy plans for student debt. And thought that it would make a good feature for the student paper. I like when I can write about politics, especially when it's an issue that matters. My debt is very close to my heart.

The wait is over! New student lounge set for re-opening.

By: VERONICA BLAKE
Published in The Courier. January 28, 2010.

After eight months without a lounge, students at the CCC campus will finally have a place to relax and hang out.

The lounge closed for renovations June 2009. After several delays, the revamped student-space will reopen early February.

Third-year film student Alessia Peluso, 25, expressed her anger over the lounge closure.

“It’s been under construction for so long,” Peluso said. “We paid for it and we get nothing.”

The Centennial College Student Association Incorporated runs the lounge. The lounge will house the CCSAI offices, where students can get information on the services that the association offers. As well, students can play video games, watch television or simply take a much needed breather from busy school life.

Melissa Feeney is the communications coordinator for the CCSAI and has been involved with the project.

“The lounge really was in need of a face-lift,” Feeney said. “It looked a bit dated…we’re looking for a more modern, professional finish.”

The CCSAI is planning numerous events for the month of February, to coincide with the lounge grand opening. Students can expect to see video-game tournaments, pizza days and extensive Olympic coverage in the new-and-improved lounge. Carl Anthony John is the CCSAI’s vice-president of the CCC campus, and is excited about the opening.

“A lot of food. A lot of fun. A lot of friends,” John said. “All the f’s really. Except for the naughty one… Well, actually, sexy bingo. That’s an event we’ll be doing.”

Without a lounge, students have been forced to get creative in where they spend their down time on campus.

“The piano…has been abused over the last few months,” John said. “The library…got these really cool beanbag chairs. The cafeteria’s never been so busy. And unfortunately…students go to class, and then they just go home.”

First-year corporate communications and public relations student Kylee Berensci is eager to use the space.

“It probably will be a comfortable place…to sit in,” Berensci said. “It sounds a lot better than the caf.”

It’s been a long eight months, but generally students seem excited to have a place of their own.

“(We want students) to know that the wait was absolutely worth it,” John said.

*Editor's note* This was my very first published article. I took it very seriously. I know it's certainly not groundbreaking, but I was really proud of it at the time. In the end, the grand re-opening was pushed back another month, making my story redundant. Good thing that no one really reads the Courier. Ohh.. sad-face.

Thrill me to the marrow...

It occurs to me that all this youtube video embedding puts me at risk for copyright infringement.

But I assure you, my intentions are pure and honourable.

I just think I'm better than you. And my musical knowledge and tastes must be shared and explored with you whipper-snappers.

You've heard this one while you're bumping and grinding in the clubs.

This convenience of the modern area brings you the music of another age..

So I'm sitting here in the apartment without pants, listening to Joni Mitchell music.

I'm sure there's a metaphor in there somewhere.

But all I can think about is that scene in Love Actually where Emma Thomson's character realizes that her husband is having an affair. And she's just an emotional lump of hurt-bag, listening to Joni Mitchell. The woman who taught that cold-English wife how to feel.

But allllll these youtube comment boards keep talking about how sad it is that Joni Mitchell is dead.

What?

Don't fret people. I googled it for ya, and Joni Mitchell is very much alive and well.

Jeeze, I'd kill to interview her.

And continuing with your musical education, here's a hit from Woodstock '69.



Soulful. Passionate. He exudes sex.

But can it compare to... this?



The comments section on this one keep giggling about the line, "I get high with a little help from my friends."

McCartney's attitude about cannabis was made public in the 1960s.

What's so wrong with that?

Ah... the infamous sex-date...

Oh ya by the way, we're being stalked. Or at the very least, googled.

Well, two can play at that game, my friend.

And perhaps, to you, I pose the question, 'didn't I always know I was being watched?'

Just call me a narcissistic exhibitionist.

Oh, and I totally messed with the HTML coding, so that embedded videos will show before the jump on the home page. No biggie.

With the Internet, and even with the sex-beat, I'm starting to realize, that if you can imaginate it, then it exists, and people are doing it.

It's a rule that can be applied in all aspects of life.

So... Date Three?

If ya can't handle the videos, I suggest you don't move on...

*Warning* advertisements for feminine hygiene products ahead!

G20. Now that I've got you're attention, here's more pratter...

So I discovered that I'm using some old, soon-to-be-outdated version of Blogger. This is much nicer now.

I'm sorry about neglecting you poor blog. I grounded myself from the Interwebs. I had shit to do before BTS. And, funny, I had 4 months to beautify this blog... And I waited until the craziness of the first week of school to do it. But it suuuuure does look purdy!

First week of school, and we've hit the ground running.

New semester, new me...

So what do ya think of the redesign? Pretty damn sexy if I do say so myself. 2 1/2 hours of dicking around and not liking anything, followed by an hour of solid work. Don't get excited, all I did was customize the template and back ground, then tweaked the settings. I wasn't messing around with HTML. Some new features include my Twitter feed, links to other websites that I've worked on or have featured my work, and a welcome message (with the much-needed disclaimer!) Also, there's a search option, and now you can follow and subscribe! So please do! I would like to have a rough idea of who's reading this thing. This is my audition for the Web Editor position at The Courier, Centennial College's student paper. I have grand plans for that site. GRAND. Everyone cross your fingers, toes and eyes for me. Another new feature is the jumps.

Not really reruns if they were never posted... certainly not a best-of...

Just cleaning up around here.

*sweep*sweep*sweep*

What's this?

*blows off dust*

There are some unpublished drafts at the back of this closet.

Let's get them up for ya...

I just need the perfect titties. That's titles, Mr. Connery..

Whaddya know, its September 2nd. I missed a day. (getting ready for school, thus, getting ready to neglect this poor blog. Y'know, miss a post here, miss a post there, then you're back to one post a month.) So should I tell you about my second date? He both opened and closed the car door for me. About halfway through the night I decided I shant ever date the mens under thirty ever again. Neighbours C and M witnessed this. C says to M, "look at that! See how white-folks are?" I respond, "that ain't how white folks are. At least not the 20-somethings I have dated" Or should I tell you about the delightful time I had with neighbour C on the porch for the last... I dunno... three hours? Drinking wine (my greatest weakness!! how did she know?? thus, why I'm delving into the personal life again tonight. Dammit, too many people know the combination to all my secrets :( Ahhh, did I really just emoticon on my blog? Did I just make emoticon a verb? MW make 'zoo' a verb. But that's an entirely different tale altogether.) Jeeze neighbour C and I can shoot the shit all night long. I think I won't tell you about any of those things. Instead, dear reader, we're being watched.

I guess I can follow through...

Allllllrighty. 31 Posts in August. I'm exhausted. And a little proud. So I've been watching Quints by Surprise (I love me my TLC) Really? Yall took fertility medication, and were surprised to conceive quints? Surprised after 6 seasons of Jon and Kate Plus 8? (Sidebar: Jon was never really needed for the success of the show. He doesn't even fit the rhyme-scheme.) What these shows don't show are the developmental and physiological delays that many multiple births can experience. The Gosselins and the Joneses are pretty lucky to have such healthy multiples. And whatever happened to Octomom?

Is this love that I'm feeling?

Why you should watch Mad Men To fantasize about Don Draper, who exhudes pure sex. _________________________________________________________ Or maybe Ken Cosgrove's Madison Avenue Charm is more your style. _________________________________________________________ Or, if Silver Foxes are more your style, there's Roger Sterling. _________________________________________________________ I love 'em a little nerdy, like Harry Crane. _________________________________________________________ Paul Kinsey is a delicious mix of pomp and self-consciousness and culture.

Running short on juice..

Dammit. Left my power cord at my parent's house tonight. Made Mon a resume, and Dad some business cards. Also, I'm officially a grown-up, because I am now the proud owner of business cards of my own. So no post tonight! I think that the airwalk kicks I bought (child size 4 1/2) negate my journey into adulthood.

Not exactly a FAQ..

Because I am, quote, "open-minded and opinionated", young women oft seek me out for advice. I take this role on very seriously. If you're in need of unsolicited advice, look no further. But the question posed by Miss MA, were my thoughts on.. relationships with money.. you know.. sugar Daddies. hmmmm.... This one gave me cause for pause. Ask me before the summer of YES!! and I would say... "Sugar daddies? Seriously? Urgh, those women. It's absolutely degrading. Money is evil. Blah blah blah."

Best birth-control ever..

You know, sometimes I worry I won't have anything to blog about. And then some kid pulls the fire alarm at work. When the fire alarm is pulled, the entire building is subject to the incessant, high-decible noise. And we can't turn it off. We have to wait for the fire department to come. What a waste. "I can't wait to have kids of my own, so that I can beat them," I joke. This is a pretty regular occurance. Of course, this is only the second time that my store has been the culprit. I think that finally, I have a parenting solution. What is the proper punishment?

Gimme a break, I'm tryin to date here..

Blogging is exhausting, can't someone else do it? Jenna's Journey Diary of Why Octamom

What not to do in Montreal..

Did I tell you the one when we gave the dude exact-change, and then mockingly told him to keep it? We stopped to get gas before leaving Montreal. We pulled up to the pump, to be met by an attendant. In Toronto, it's almost impossible to find a place that isn't self-serve. Besides, Irish and I are the type of gals who pump our own gas. So of course, now we're counting our moolah and panicking over what kind of tip to leave. The total is $34.17. We have $36. Is that enough? She hands it to him, with an embarrassed, 'uh, you can keep it.' And he gives us a look that only the French can give. And before we drive away, I realize that he's topped up the tank. To $36, flat. There goes our $1.83 tip. (Whoa, big spenders!) And the sad part? Irish has a chronic over-tipping affliction (she's a waitress). And I am, at the very least, more than adequate.

Kutzier and flukier..

OK, so it was a bad sprain.

But saying "I sprained my ankle" doesn't really sum it up as much as "I broke my ankle" does.

I was coming into work, and me and my boss were parking at the same time. She was ahead of me and went inside. I, on the other hand, was writhing in pain and agony just outside the store. In the 20 or so steps from my car to the front door, I managed to slip on the teensiest patch of ice.

She had to carry me into the store.

And call my Dad to pick me up. (It was my drivin' leg!)

My Dad dropped me off at the hospital, with my brother as my escort. The triage nurse demanded to know why I was crying. And the waiting game began...

He kept trying to get me to eat. I refused. Finally I saw a doctor and got x-rayed.

In the end, it was deemed to be a "bad sprain" and I got me a cast and a cane. Yes, a cane like an old man. Or a really-cool act from vaudeville-days-of-lore. (I used to twirl it when I was feeling up to it.) I also got me 6 weeks off of work.

Me and Bro went outside to wait for Dad to pick us up. I sat on one of those salt-storage bins. When all of a sudden, Bro is shouting, no, frantically SCREAMING

"Veronica!! Veronica??!?! VERONICA??? VeRoNiCa!!!"

And I'm thinking... "What. The. Fuck. Bro. Shut your damn mouth, you're making a scene. Why are you screaming my name like a mad man?"

And that's when I realise. The world is all-of-a-sudden sideways. And I taste something. Salty. And gritty. Its the salt off the sidewalk. And something else.

Iron.
Blood.

Bro helps me to my feet. He is looking at me wide-eyed and aghast. I see the panic in his eyes. And at that moment. My father pulls up.

"What happened?" he is simultaneously furiously angry and frighteningly concerned. And I realize how much he loves me.

Paper towels are produced. I refuse to go back into the hospital. Dad helps me into the car. I keep insisting that I'm fine. And safe in the warm car, I look in the mirror. And that's when I start to cry.

I look like I went 10 rounds in the ring with Hillary Swank (the million dollar baby, herself) And I took a beating of a life time. (I would joke, 'you should see the other guy!' many times before I was healed.)

I chipped my 2 front teeth. (That's right, this winning-smile contains 2 partially fake teeth!)

And I scraped the entire right side of my face. From forehead to cheek to nose. And all the way down to my lips and chin.

Sprained ankle. Cast. Cane. Chipped teeth. Scraped face. Can't walk. Can't work. Can't eat. Pain. Constant pain. And my worry? Will I be cute again?

But I have to be cute. I'm nothing if I'm not cute.

What were my key take-aways from that shenanigan?
1. Pop some pills before going to the hospital. They don't take kindly to it, but guess what triage nurse? I already took 'em, so what ya gonna do about it. Everyone always asks me why I fainted. Uh... probably from the intense pain? And I hadn't eaten all day.
2. Eat. Your body needs food. Even when you don't want it. Just force yourself to eat something, anything.
3. Wear your retainer after your braces come off.
4. If you fail to follow the preceding instruction, and the only way to fix your teeth is to get braces again, and your insurance just won't cover it, get creative! Insurance covers accidental dental. Falling on your face and chipping your 2 front teeth constitutes as an accident. And maybe the fall will knock your teeth back into place. And maybe the new fillers will be nicer than your real set. And, voila!*

5. Twice a day, wash with baby-shampoo, followed by vitamin-e cream. Wards off scarring.

*no insurance fraud was committed in the making of this post.

Get over yourself..

Ya, I realize I didn't post yesterday. Just having one of those slothy, apathetic days. So I guess I owe ya one. For a special treat, I will feature a NEW segment: Life, according to Anthony Lake. He's a coworker of mine, who always has the best FB status updates. He manages to insult you and make you laugh simotaneously, which is no easy feat! So here's one for ya,

Anthony Lake ‎" I dont know what makes you so dumb but it really works"

OK, gotta work on that make-up post. Maybe you're interested in the time I broke my leg...

Kutziness and fluke...

So I'm a klutz. I am constantly getting bruises or breaking toes, and always in the most ridiculous manner. I expect to die in a freak accident. Oh, and I am usually sober. I hate having to explain for my limping the next day by prefacing the story with... Ok, so I was totally sober... and I dropped a small ceramic bowl on my toe. I bruised the fuck out of it. But I think I may have broke it because this was like, more than a month ago and I still can't wear shoes? Maybe I should have sought medical attention? Seriously. I miss shoes. I wear all these "dressy" "thong" sandals to work. And I spend the rest of my time in flip-flops. So I didn't even realize that I couldn't wear shoes until about 2 weeks in when I tried to wear flats to work, and I couldn't even walk around the apartment. I even tried for Taste of the Danforth, but my pointer-toe was just not having it. I did manage to wear my wedge sandals 2 nights in Montreal and on a date last week (mistake!) But last night I wore boots (gimme a break, it's been chilly!) And tomorrow, I shall conquer the 8 hour work day in shoes. But poor LT. She was walking up the stairs and she tripped. The plate she was holding in her hands dropped. Shattered. She fell on the glass, and got a massive gash on her left hand (she's right-handed at least). She had to get stitches. In the emergency room. She had some nerve damage on the top knuckle of her middle finger (no! not the swear-finger!). She couldn't even move it! She had to get surgery to repair the nerves. She's getting better, but won't even begin to regain feeling for two months. At the best. And damn, I feel for that girl. I thought I was the only one to horribly injure myself in such fluky manners. Like the time I broke my leg. Damn, I'm glad she's doing OK. But I'm even gladder that I'm not alone.

Yes, it was the umbrella that urged me onto the Interwebs... nothing else...

ok si Im drunk *DISCLAIMER* so orib shouldnt be posting.

but i did something really dumb. I lost my fancy eddie bauer umberlla (ella ellla eh eh eh)

no jk but my parents might kill me

*Editor's Note* I'm just going to leave this one unedited, for true comic effect. Perhaps the author realize that she was, in fact, too drunk to be posting. (Is there even such a thing?) One good-judgment made that night. 

The F-word and the S-word..

Well there's no denying it. There's a chill in the air. And I'm avoiding the calendar at all costs. BTS. (Henceforth, Back-to-School shall simply be, BTS) Don't get me wrong, I WANT to go back. I love it. I miss it. But you know what I love even more? Shenanigans!! And everyone knows shenanigans are best served HOT. I'd just like a little more time. A few more weeks. I've not been very productive. Damn shenaniganning. I really need to take care of some biznass around the house and around the life before going back. Nothing major.. you know.. gotta do my taxes.. and such. Also need to decide on some sort of direction for this little blog o' mine. These posts don't write themselves! And we need a theme... The Semester of _________??? Gotta set goals. This could be my last BTS. Second semester will be an internship, so it won't really be like going back to school after the Christmas holidays. It will be much more frightening than that. I could never be in school again after this semester. Like, I'm gonna have to be a grown-up and shit. Who knows what the future holds in store, but I'm done with academia, at least for another few years. Jeeze, the semester hasn't even begun, and all ready I'm nostalgic.

Bienvenue a Montreal: Ok, nous l'avons trouvé

Que faire et que voir quand vous êtes à Montréal: Part 4 in a series.

My Uncle's job occasionally has him on the road. Nothing glamorous, just North America, but I think that everyplace has at least one cool thing about it. Even in the middle of butt-fuck-nowhere, there's always fun to be had.

But since he's there on business, he really only gets a day to himself. Or sometimes only a couple of hours. So he'll ask someone who's been to the city before..."Hey!! I only have (this much) time in City X. What do I HAVE to do?"

And I think that is a delightful approach to travel, one that I hope to utilize in the future. SO... what should you do in Montreal? My first instinct is to say strip club.

But I'll go with my second instinct, which is, ironically, church. Now I don't care what faith you were raised in, how religious you are, or what check-box you put your neat-little X in. Cause this ain't just any-old church. Basilique Notre-Dame de Montreal.

(I'm looking at photos online to show you, but there's just nothing that truly captures the grandeur and extravagance and erethral beauty of this structure. I think it's best to go in blind and let the beauty take your breath away.)

Words, cannot even describe it. When I am inside Notre Dame Basillica, I am undoubting and unwavering in my devotion.

Outside on the pavement 10 minutes later, or at the strip club 6 hours later might be a different story. But inside the Basillica, all the beautiful old-world Catholic tradition and masonic architecture meld into otherworldliness.

Ya, you're gonna pay $5 for admission. Take the tour, it's free. And feel free to wander and explore. Light a candle, say a prayer.

And, meh... it was good enough for the nuptials of the Diva herself (Celine Dion). Also, the Basillica hosted the funeral of Pierre Trudeau. But you'll learn all that on the tour. And if you're feeling adventurous, take in a mass. It would be worth it just to hear that massive organ.

We suspected that The Musee D'Art Contemporain might only be good on LSD, but alas, it was an hallucinogen-free weekend. Like any contemporary art gallery the pieces (some were more like, pieces of crap) fell into three categories:
1. Ohhhhh neeeaaaaatt!
2. Cool. Probably cooler on acid.
3. WTF? How does this qualify as art?

For instance, The Bourduas exhibit fell into the first two categories. While his contemporaries (or, bootleggers) often fell into the third category.

In the second category was videomusique. It told the story of a couple. They were... how you say... troubled. Some might say... volatile. And in the background was Chris Isaak's sexy serenade, Wicked Game. Only instead of the insatiable Isaak crooning, some crazed chick was sometimes screeching it sometimes sobbing it. It was fucked.

Also in category numero tres was Runa Islam: A silent film of a pretty young woman at a table. There is a cup and saucer about 3 inches from the edge, and the woman's hand is 2 inches away from the china. Her hand is moving a millimeter a minute. And, soon (but not quickly) the china begins to creep towards the edge of the table. And then, its hanging over the edge. And you're thinking... Noooo!! You can save it!! There's plenty of time. Then.... SMASH!!!

Then all sorts of things are breaking. It was excruciating.

We enjoyed The exhibit of Yesterday's Tomorrows, especially John Massey's Phantoms of the Modern/The Beginnings of the World. His prints were of a very clean very modern house. But it was like a Where's Waldo of strange and slightly provocative objects.

It was cheaper than seeing a movie. But come high or don't bother. It's always nice to take in a gallery or a museum wherever you roam. Lends culture to a journey.

Montreal was home to the Olympics in 1976. So we wanted to grace the hallowed grounds of the site of monumental debt. For a photo-shoot... __________________________________________________________

The park was nothing more than a concrete wasteland. __________________________________________________________

And the stadium looked like where they hold the Space Olympics. __________________________________________________________

And the biodome is where they train. __________________________________________________________

What the hell is this?
__________________________________________________________

GIANT stairs!
__________________________________________________________

Reach for the stars!
__________________________________________________________

Maybe Olympic Park and Stadium are not a must-see.

But upon returning home everyone will ask, did you see the cross? According to "legend" you can see the cross on Mount-Royal from everywhere in the city.

In the 16th Century, Jaques Cartier hiked up this mountain with the natives and christened it Mount-Royal, which is from where the city takes its name. In 1643 the founder of Montreal, Paul Chomedey de Maisonneuve hiked on up with a giant wooden cross.

It was replaced with this in 1929. __________________________________________________________

It was... a little anti-climatic
__________________________________________________________

A breathtaking view. Oh, and there's the city. __________________________________________________________

Hitch-hiked back. 

__________________________________________________________

Dodged falling rocks.
__________________________________________________________

The park itself was very lovely. Its hopeful to see a major metropolis devote such great acreage to foliage and walking paths. Walkers, joggers, runners, hikers, cyclists, skiiers, bladers and the like dominate the trails. The young and old come to exercise, play, picnic and even date in nature. Wear sturdy shoes.

The waterfront at Les Quais Du Vieux-Port de Montreal had some beautiful assets as well.

__________________________________________________________

Prepare for boarding.

Typical day in the life...

Ahhhh ok so I'm (prob?) going out with Irish tonight so all I really have time to do is vomit on this keyboard and GO-GO-GO!!

fhuaghkdfjadhfjkdhfighnbwrv kjheioqfhijnfjKWRNFHJ (OK, there!)

So I went back to work Tuesday after a most blissful vacation. And I'm not ashamed to say... I was just not feelin' it. But everyone gets the back to work blahs, right? But then yesterday was even worse. But I'm happy to report that I've got my work-mojo back. We had things to do and people to talk to. (Plus, I don't think that it helped that both MW and I were in vacay mode, me coming back, and her about to go)

1. Today was a sharing day. I have a severe aversion to cargo-pants. Remember in the late-90's when they were in-style? Well, I was on BOARD with that fashion-trend. Jeans, casual pants, capris, shorts...and...even...dress pants. (acceptance is the first step.)

My name is Veronica, and in 1998 I wore black, slightly shiny, flares with cargo pockets. I've been clean and sober from cargo pockets since 2001.
SIDEBAR: Does anyone remember flares?!?

2. I brought the world's-most-depressing lunch. Leftovers from the other night: broccoli, green beans and baked potato. Which was delightful for dinner with the addition of butter, sour cream, green onions, pepper and cheese. But was downright depressing and plain sans accouterments. At least it was healthy. And satisfying. (And everything was just so delightfully fresh... (Good things grow in Ontario!)

3. My break got rained-out, so I abandoned my coffee and Eat Pray Love for celebrity gossip. Lindsay Lohan on suicide watch? (Of course, I'm reading gossip from July 26th, which in Hollywood, may as well be 10 years ago.)

4. I wouldn't mind going to jail. Especially for 90 days. Do you know how much reading you could catch-up on? Suck it up, buttercup. Jail would give me much-needed structure in my life. 3 square meals a day, time to work out, you can even get yourself edumacated. Plus all the fun activities? Movie night? Soft-ball leagues? Group rapes? Arts and crafts?

EDITOR'S NOTE: Jail is NOT fun for those wongfully convicted.

But if you do the crime, shoot, be prepared to do the time.

5. Why would I be sentenced to jail? I'll leave that open-ended.

6. If you come into the store, here's the sort of talking points I enjoy:

a) I get really stressed out at No-Frills trying to bag my own groceries.

b) I'm 25, but if you're a 50-something year-old woman, I will gladly sit and chat with you about how we're getting old. (Seriously, when all yall reach your seventieth birthdays and are having some sort of end-of-life crisis, I'll be chillin' in my rocker, watchin' my jeopardy, wearin' a cardigan.)

Hmmm, maybe I'll take a nap later.

c) Coming up on a significant wedding anniversary and looking for a fab way to renew your vows? Vegas, baby! Why not have Elvis officiate!?!

d) I covertly played hid-and-go seek with a small child. The game was even more thrilling, as I had to hide the entire game of hide-and-seek from the Boss.

7. It made my day!

8.
BOSS: Good news!!!
ME: Whaaaattt??!?!?
BOSS: I have permission to hire a male assistant manager.
ME: Oh... cool.............................. WAIT! Have you even found a male assistant to hire?
BOSS: No
ME: So you've secured permission in the unlikely scenario that you find a male assistant?
BOSS: It's nice to keep our options open.

(Well, I guess we've doubled our hiring-pool)

9. Don't even talk to me about Labour Day weekend.

10. Damn I forget the tenth point and my OCD dictates that things have to be even.

Oh, looking for Part 4 of the Bienvennue a Montreal series? I'm such a tease! Gotta keep ya comin' back for more.

Bievennue a Montreal: Où sommes-nous?

Ce que vous pouvez découvrir si vous êtes perdus à Montréal: Part Three in a Series.

Sometimes getting there is half the fun. I think I said it best in my (private) journal.

"With all the best intentions to leave at the ungodly hour of 8 am, we were finally on the road by quarter to 10. Tim Hortons was still serving breakfast, which is earlier that I'm motivated to get my ass out of the door on the best of days. Not being accustomed to actually making it on time for breakfast, of course we ordered bagels and BLTs. I drove the 6+ (+++) hours, as Irish was nursing one hulluva hangover from last afternoon's excursion to the Jay's game. I'm pretty proud of her for keeping that BLT down. At 11, only at Markham Rd, I tried to burn the car down with a cigarette butt. Back on the highway, we gabbed. Then she napped while I grooved to some oldies. Then we had a pretty hard-core heart-to-heart which turned in..."

I was writing this while illegally parked, waiting for Irish to check-in. Because we couldn't park until we checked in. What bullshit is that? Quality Hotel. Dad asked me if they spelled Quality with a K. But now, to continue on this train of thought...

...which turned into an epic rant-fest. Of course we missed our exit. Got off at another, and started driving to the hotel. Story of my life, we were going the wrong way. So we turned around. And alas, once the road ended, we realized we were going a wronger way.

Uh-oh! We're lost!! Take a picture!!

__________________________________________________________

EDITOR'S NOTE: Ok SER-I-OUS-LY how in the hell do we keep getting lost while all along we're in the right direction? What is wrong with us? Suicidal brain-cells?!? (in anticipation of the debauchery the weekend would hold in store?)

We def spent a lot of our trip lost and wandering. Boy did we put our grade 7 geography lessons to use. Map reading? An invaluable skill. Although, we lamented not having a compass.

By the end of the 4 days, our map was in tatters. But we never got lost on day 4. That was a successful day (until we tried to get home. And I wasn't 100% sure where we were. Then we missed an exit and had to take a delightful detour.)

Lost, yet again. Familiar territory. We'll be in Toronto in 6+++ hours __________________________________________________________

How many maps does it take to navigate our way out of this city? Three. __________________________________________________________

We spent much of our days on the quest for M:Brgr (which I must say, was worth it). The problem (for once) wasn't our poor sense of direction, rather, just not knowing what the place was called. And, alas, google failed us. On our first unsuccessful attempt, we ended up at a lovely little place called Dundees, where we shared quesadillas and poutine, and I got tipsy off of three $12 raspberry mohitos.

Unapologetic.
__________________________________________________________

We also spent a good part of our trip in search of a club. Some place happenin'. Everyone always says that Montreal is a party city. So where the party-at? Ah, sketchy nights, wandering the streets, slightly intoxicated. That's how I shall always remember the fair city.

Just lookin' for a good time.
__________________________________________________________

Got lost in search of La Croix at Mount-Royal. Got lost trying to make our way back to civilization. We even *gasp* stopped and asked for directions. Damn, that park was large. Even almost got off at the wrong bus stop on our way to the park.

Irish and I enjoy the thrill of finding your own way, and exploring parts of the city you would never stumble upon otherwise. Let's face it, that's pretty much what I do in Toronto anyway.

Map reading: an invaluable skill!
__________________________________________________________

The problem was that Montreal is so small! What seems like miles and miles on the map may only take you a few minutes. We were constantly over-shooting everything. 

Including our sojourn to suburbia. Well, you can't really blame two Scarborough girls for being lured into the gentle caress of the suburbs. We took the metro a little too far north. We were off the map. We were so unbearably, confusingly lost. 

So we took a breather on a bench, tried to gather our bearings, and were delighted to see such randomness, all from the vantage point of our bench.

This light-hearted graphic on a sari-shop sign turned our frowns upside-down. __________________________________________________________

Mannequins with serious 'dos.
__________________________________________________________

Gold. Jewelery. Computers. Video Games. Tools. Bicycles.
Musical Instruments. TV. DVD. Cameras. Film XXX. Etc...?
__________________________________________________________

*Shrugs shoulders* It was an interesting door. Lots of texture. I'm not just silly all the time.
I'm at least a 2-dimensional character.
__________________________________________________________

Passive-aggressive? Or ironic? You be the judge. __________________________________________________________

The lost-pose.
__________________________________________________________

Happy travels and happy wanders!

You know the drill, stay tuned tomorrow for part 4 of our series: Ok, nous l'avons trouvé: que faire et que voir quand vous êtes à Montréal

Interrupted service..

A break from our regularly scheduled programming. This post today has been brought to you today by the good folks at Ziplock, this over-thinking brain of mine, and the letter K. So the summer of YES!! is drawing to a close. I'm going to do a recap sometime in September before I get back to school. So we're not going to talk about YES!! right now. But although I haven't been screaming it, if you're following my blog, (or if you know me IRL, or if you're simply stalking me (I'm flattered, *blush*)), you know I've been living it. So look for it in September: Procrastinate NOW!! in the summer of YES!! (the coming-of-age tale of a girl just trying to find her way in the big-bad city. A story, of a struggling journalist, lost-in-love and afraid... of living. But when she lets her hair down, and follows her dreams *cue music* anything is possible) And... as a special treat, I shall reveal the summer bingo card, that I have been threatening you with all summer. And that's not all!! The photo-a-day project shall be unveiled! An awards show shall follow. And of course, we gotta go back to the summer goals. And we'll round it all out with a clip-show. But if the summer of YES!! is coming to a close, what shall the semester, the next chapter of my life, hold in store? And more importantly, what will the semester be the semester of? OK, howsabout "The Semester of Organization and Productivity?" No? "The Semester of Decisiveness?" No? No? That's all I got! "The Semester of Love and other bad decisions?" Or, "The Semester of learning and following your dreams!" Ok, I guess I still gotta work on that. I really should work on my decision-making. I over-think everything... often before events even transpire. I'll look at something from every angle, try to determine any and all possible cause-and-effect scenarios, make pro & con lists.. then throw them out, and make a quick, rash decision. Then fret over my decision. And at the last second, change my mind. So, about this dating thing. 1. Giving my brand-spankin'-new moleskine daytimer a workout. 2. How do dudes juggle multiple chicks at once? 3. I feel terrible even talking to more than one guy at a time. 4. My new dating mantra is... meh... free dinner? 5. Feel like I shouldn't be blogging about this. 6. Don't hate the playah, hate the game. 7. Am I a hypocrite, or a revolutionary? Peut-etre, je peux ecrire en francais des mes rendez-vous? Bien sur.