Typical day in the life...

Ahhhh ok so I'm (prob?) going out with Irish tonight so all I really have time to do is vomit on this keyboard and GO-GO-GO!!

fhuaghkdfjadhfjkdhfighnbwrv kjheioqfhijnfjKWRNFHJ (OK, there!)

So I went back to work Tuesday after a most blissful vacation. And I'm not ashamed to say... I was just not feelin' it. But everyone gets the back to work blahs, right? But then yesterday was even worse. But I'm happy to report that I've got my work-mojo back. We had things to do and people to talk to. (Plus, I don't think that it helped that both MW and I were in vacay mode, me coming back, and her about to go)

1. Today was a sharing day. I have a severe aversion to cargo-pants. Remember in the late-90's when they were in-style? Well, I was on BOARD with that fashion-trend. Jeans, casual pants, capris, shorts...and...even...dress pants. (acceptance is the first step.)

My name is Veronica, and in 1998 I wore black, slightly shiny, flares with cargo pockets. I've been clean and sober from cargo pockets since 2001.
SIDEBAR: Does anyone remember flares?!?

2. I brought the world's-most-depressing lunch. Leftovers from the other night: broccoli, green beans and baked potato. Which was delightful for dinner with the addition of butter, sour cream, green onions, pepper and cheese. But was downright depressing and plain sans accouterments. At least it was healthy. And satisfying. (And everything was just so delightfully fresh... (Good things grow in Ontario!)

3. My break got rained-out, so I abandoned my coffee and Eat Pray Love for celebrity gossip. Lindsay Lohan on suicide watch? (Of course, I'm reading gossip from July 26th, which in Hollywood, may as well be 10 years ago.)

4. I wouldn't mind going to jail. Especially for 90 days. Do you know how much reading you could catch-up on? Suck it up, buttercup. Jail would give me much-needed structure in my life. 3 square meals a day, time to work out, you can even get yourself edumacated. Plus all the fun activities? Movie night? Soft-ball leagues? Group rapes? Arts and crafts?

EDITOR'S NOTE: Jail is NOT fun for those wongfully convicted.

But if you do the crime, shoot, be prepared to do the time.

5. Why would I be sentenced to jail? I'll leave that open-ended.

6. If you come into the store, here's the sort of talking points I enjoy:

a) I get really stressed out at No-Frills trying to bag my own groceries.

b) I'm 25, but if you're a 50-something year-old woman, I will gladly sit and chat with you about how we're getting old. (Seriously, when all yall reach your seventieth birthdays and are having some sort of end-of-life crisis, I'll be chillin' in my rocker, watchin' my jeopardy, wearin' a cardigan.)

Hmmm, maybe I'll take a nap later.

c) Coming up on a significant wedding anniversary and looking for a fab way to renew your vows? Vegas, baby! Why not have Elvis officiate!?!

d) I covertly played hid-and-go seek with a small child. The game was even more thrilling, as I had to hide the entire game of hide-and-seek from the Boss.

7. It made my day!

8.
BOSS: Good news!!!
ME: Whaaaattt??!?!?
BOSS: I have permission to hire a male assistant manager.
ME: Oh... cool.............................. WAIT! Have you even found a male assistant to hire?
BOSS: No
ME: So you've secured permission in the unlikely scenario that you find a male assistant?
BOSS: It's nice to keep our options open.

(Well, I guess we've doubled our hiring-pool)

9. Don't even talk to me about Labour Day weekend.

10. Damn I forget the tenth point and my OCD dictates that things have to be even.

Oh, looking for Part 4 of the Bienvennue a Montreal series? I'm such a tease! Gotta keep ya comin' back for more.